25th Birthday

They say 25 is supposed to be your quarter-life crisis.  I feel like i'm just now starting to get this whole life thing figured out.  And after waking up on my 25th birthday with pink eye, I have no other choice than to embrace it.  Following a weekend full of such celebration with some of my closest friends, an irritated eye is a simple reminder that life isn't perfect.

I look forward to 25 and all the events that will come with it.

There isn't a time in my life that sticks out in my mind when there was so much to celebrate.  Not only for myself, but for the people I have surrounded myself with.  It seems like we are all hitting our stride at the same time.  Being able to share our experiences together is unthinkable considering our different schedules and numerous personal commitments.

Being able to say goodbye to 24 with 14 of my best friends gave me reassurance that 25 will carry the torch.  That we are all finding success in different ways.  Through engagements, new careers, new relationships, a new dog or even new business ventures, we are all aggressivley pursuing what genuinely makes us happy.

I've learned a lot within the past 25 years, but nothing is as valuable as realizing the true reason to celebrate a Birthday.  It's not only recognizing and applauding the anniversary of your birth, it is appreciating another year of memories and experiences with the people you call family.

I have many Thank You's to announce for the past 25 years, and I plan to break down each one individually within the next few days.

Until then, thank you for the birthday wishes!  If you're reading this you play a major role in my life whether you know it or not…

P.S., how do I go 24 years, 364 days and 18 hours without getting pink eye before I wake up to a sealed eyelid? Gross

The Harsh Reality of The Boston Marathon

Unfortunately, yet another tragedy has struck and for the next 24 hours we will again, remember how precious life is.  We will remember how important it is to give loved ones that extra squeeze right before breaking a hug.  We will remember how irrelevant traffic jams, gas prices and Wal-Mart lines truly are.  The value of life is reinforced as we forget the skin color of the person standing next to us while we watch news coverage of these unfortunate events unravel.  We also forget the sexuality of the medics attending to the injured and the stance the news reporters have on gun laws.  It's embarrassing to admit that such horrifying events are the only occurrence in which equality rises to the surface in our country.

The result of such malicious attacks seems to be the only occasion in which a sense of unity and uniformity can be felt throughout The United States.  Regrettably, the instances in which we feel such a strong bond are becoming more common as these occurrences seem to be happening in shorter spans giving us less time to heal.  The mourning process begins as soon as the first life is taken and the person next to you reaches out to give reassurance that everything will be ok.  

It's difficult, but I hope the first emotion we feel isn't anger or hate.  Instead, sympathy and sensitivity.  Sympathy for those affected and sensitivity for those responsible.  To plan something so vicious and to actually have the unconsciousness to actively execute it makes you wonder the amount of hatred one must carry in their heart.  The reasons behind the actions are unknown but we must realize no one is born with such ill-will and anger.  That somewhere along their life, pain was introduced and comfort was replaced.

More often than not, the individuals or "terrorists" who bring so much misery to the innocent, don't do so because they feel they have been treated with the utmost respect.  Typically, they are people who at some point felt their life wasn't as important as others.  That they are unequal.  

I am by no means making excuses for the actions of those who have brought much pain and sorrow to innocent people.  

Take a second and reread that last sentence… 

It's difficult to determine who I am actually referring to.  

We see ill-will on a daily basis, just in different forms.  Because what makes the bullies on the playground, the racists in the streets, or even those intentionally preventing the entire gay population the right of marriage different from "terrorists"?  The intent to bring pain and sorrow to the innocent is present, just not as extreme.  

I am not attempting to take anything from the grieving process of our country or the families of the injured.  I am trying to prevent another event like this by asking everyone to take accountability as we contribute to the reason why they happen.  

It is my intention to shine a new light and put a mirror in front of our nation's face.  In the face of those who find pleasure by making others feel less valuable.  The same individuals who scream "'Merica" but neglect the belief of EQUALITY, the one word that is supposed to separate us from all other countries.  

I've never been afraid to voice my opinion, especially when I know I am sticking up for something that I believe in.  I hope my generation begins to slowly change the world by reverting to the simple life lessons we learned throughout grade school.  I have always said we are quick to stand up for something, yet slow to speak up.  It's easy to be a part of a sea of silence but difficult to make ripples by using your voice.   

Do we live in such a society so miserable with our own lives that we would intentionally restrict others the right to achieve a maximum amount of happiness or love?  This seems to be the case as we constantly belittle our neighbors to the point we must fear future events such as Newtown, Aurora, and most recently the Boston Marathon.

So often following these tragedies we ask the question, "what is wrong with the world?" It's a question we are quick to ask yet naive to answer.  Until we do so, we will continue to feel such sadness on a reoccurring basis.

  

Be Mine!

As most of you know, Valentine's Day is quickly approaching.  The majority of us know what to expect; balloons, roses, chocolate, jewelry, teddy bears and ridiculous Facebook updates.  Simply because your boyfriend buys you flowers (on the same day that EVERY boyfriend buys his girlfriend flowers), does not make him The. Best. Boyfriend. Ever…

The fact you get so excited and snap a picture before you even give him a hug and kiss, tells me he only does this once a year… which again, reinforces that he his not, The. Best. Boyfriend. Ever… If he was, you wouldn't feel pressured to convince yourself that he is by showing the rest of the world a dozen roses like we've never seen them before.  

On the flip side, you aren't a doll yourself.  Rather than spending the night anticipating notifications or comparing Valentine gifts of other "taken" women, you should be enjoying the time you are spending with; The. Best. Boyfriend. Ever! Relish the few hours that your boyfriend is showing you that he actually cares.  Charm is something you are born with.  Not everyone has it.  If your boyfriend doesn't, it really shouldn't matter because his charm isn't what made your hand circle "Yes" on that piece of paper.  But if you did receive those flowers, and that box of chocolate, he is doing his best.  Appreciate and understand his effort.

Maybe I'm being a little blunt.  Maybe i'm just saying what everyone thinks.  Or maybe it's because I would feel more comfortable at a strangers funeral than spending Valentine's Day alone.  To be honest, I've probably accidentally stumbled into more funerals over my lifetime than singles bars around this time of year.  

You may find all of this hard to believe.  I've been told I'm not, "the relationship type"… probably on too many occasions.  How much truth behind this assumption is still up for debate, I don't even know the answer.  But I do know the importance of making a woman feel special.  And maybe that's what i'm going to miss the most when Thursday comes around.  Reminding someone just how valuable they are.  Because more than likely, that woman will eventually become a wife as well as a mother.  And if someday I do shock the world, I hope my wife never had to spend a single Valentine's Day alone.

No woman deserves to spend Valentine's Day with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a Katherine Heigl movie.  Not even the ones who openly confess their hatred for the holiday.  The only thing worse than sharing your intimate moments with the world, is bashing those intimate moments of others simply out of envy.  

Much like the, "Best boyfriend ever" status looks like an outcry for attention, the "Valentine's Day is the worst" status makes you look like the fat kid who didn't get picked to play dodge ball.  You probably didn't get picked because of that pint of Ben and Jerry's… 

So gentlemen, if you don't already have that special someone, do your part to make one of the females in your life feel special. This doesn't have to be your secret crush.  It could be one of your lady friends who constantly makes you look good at the bar or the random girl sitting alone across from you.  As much as we hate to admit it, women truly make the world go round.  And we are lucky enough to be given one day out of the year to make-up for the negligence during the other 364.

I guess you can say i've had a slight change of heart since last year...

10 Things I Learned on Super Bowl Sunday

Yesterday was the second annual #BTTD Super Bowl Sunday for my friends and I.  After last year's random success, we decided to make it a tradition.  Unlike most traditions, it's pretty basic.  We go to the same bar at noon to strike conversation with the lucky lady behind the bar and enjoy a few brews.  Eventually, we find ourselves making several stops throughout the neighborhood making our presence felt and our laughter heard.

And since only one of our teams ever has the chance to make it to the Super Bowl, we have the freedom to spend the day carefree.  God knows I would be a stressed mess for 2 weeks leading up to the game if the Lions ever made it.  Don't think we have to worry about that…

So instead I had the opportunity to take it all in and appreciate the day for what it was.  Even learning a few things throughout the afternoon… all while I wore a backwards hat?!?!

1. Laughter is contagious - Unless you have an obnoxious laugh (which I think I flirt with crossing that line sometimes) it's hard to be mad at someone for having a good time.  In our case, at least yesterday, our non-stop chuckles, giggles, knee slappers and occasional snorts seemed to draw a crowd.  There is something special about genuine laughter that emits pleasure.  The type of pleasure strangers want to be a part of.

If you can make someone laugh, you will always have a place in this world.  And if someone doesn't appreciate your sense of humor, don't be afraid to pull up a chair next to me. 

2. Planning is for nerds - Sometimes you just have to go with it.  Not every decision you make needs to be accompanied with an explanation or reasoning.  The best times of your life are unexpected.  That's probably what makes them so great.  You eliminate expectations and welcome chance.

Throw away your agenda, protractor, calculator and give your fanny pack to the nearest hipster.


3. Waitresses and bartenders are the only group of people who know how do deal with my group of friends - It's not very often strangers have enough courage to come up to us without hesitation.  It's not because we are intimidating.  We're not too good for anybody.  We are just a very tight knit group that doesn't leave enough space between chairs for someone new to squeeze in.  I think they see this enough to understand we wouldn't question giving up our seat to get to know them.

Waitresses and bartenders deal with different types of individuals on a daily basis, we take pride in respecting those who know how to deal with us.  And we also love when they find us intriguing enough to meet up with us after their shift… on a Sunday… afternoon.  

4. Pool is the only "sport" I refuse to bet on - Cause I suck… I'll try my hardest to win… I may make a few lucky shots… I will definitely miss a handful of easy shots… it's frustrating…

I hate geometry.  I hate angles.

5. If you don't have a clique (thank you Kanye), you don't have much - Your friends give you the very best of all the other relationships you have, without the bullshit that comes with it.  They will protect you like your parents.  They will take the last slice like a sibling.  They will give you a tug on the ear like a grandma, and if you're lucky, they will even annoy you like a girlfriend.  Think of your friends like a swiss army knife.

Keep your circle small.  Be friendly and always remember you will have hundreds of friends in the crowd, but there will only a handful of brothers standing behind you on your wedding day. 

6. If you can't laugh at yourself, don't make fun of others - There is no one in the world who can make fun of me more than myself.  If you can't take a joke, chances are we aren't friends.  People don't understand how we call each other friends because we are constantly making fun of each other.  I guess you can say it's how we keep each other on our toes.  We can all use a piece of humble pie every now and then… or in our case every 5 minutes.  And I can tell you the best piece you will taste will come from your own oven.

Don't believe me, just watch 8 Mile… haha it's the B-Rabbit theory.  

7. Instagram is now my favorite social media - Facebook: I don't care how horrible your day was or how far along you are in your pregnancy (I can't wait to be a Dad so this may just be jealousy). Twitter: Once high schoolers started tweeting reckless tweets… I had to pump the brakes.  But you better believe i'm logged in during award shows and when Catfish is on! And I don't even watch that show, I just follow some hysterical individuals.  MySpace - I've never really talked to you.  But I am interested to see what Justin Timberlake has done to you.

Oh, back to my point… a picture says a thousand words.  Your stupid food pictures annoy me sometimes but I can deal… until I start seeing parents taking "selfies" in the mirror… 

8. Every Destiny's Child has a Michelle - We all loved seeing Kelly Rowland and Michelle (don't know her last name) reunite on stage with Beyonce during the Halftime Show.  But it reminded me that not everyone can be a Beyonce.  A well rounded group has a little bit of everything.

And Michelle is still a very special woman… she used to be my favorite.  Then they came out with "Bootylicious" and she was lacking the booty. I felt cheated.

9. I am a pretty damn good at shuffle board - Haven't had that much fun in a long time.

Keep calm and play shuffle board!

10. The only reason to get your phone out during a day spent with friends is to use the camera - Weird coming from someone who is glued to his phone, right? But even I understand the importance of soaking in days like yesterday.  The older we get (and the more serious my friend's relationships get), the less time we will have on our hands to spend with each other as a group.  We aren't kids anymore.  We are starting to see our grandparents in our parents (Mom, Dad… don't take it literal). Our conversations have evolved from recess to investments.  It's truly amazing that we can pull out our phones and capture a memory that will last a lifetime.

I've met amazing people during every chapter of my life.  But I am blessed to have grown up with friends who remain in my corner to this day.  We have all taken separate routes to get where we are, but it truly feels like we were truck drivers with walkie-talkies along the entire ride… and boy did we made up some stupid ass nicknames along the way.  

I was definitely missing a few of the guys yesterday.  Just because you weren't there doesn't mean we didn't think about you… or make fun of you!

Happy Birthday MLK

Nearly a year ago, I dedicated a post to celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr on his birthday.  At the time, I was sketching my ambition blueprint while evaluating my personal options.  It's a blessing to have something to look back on to measure my growth and to see just how much has changed over the year.  It's also reassuring to know my heart remains in the same place even though certain aspects of my life have relocated.

(Last year's MLK post)

Last year I spent the majority of my time desperately reaching out to others for advice, guidance and exposure.  It's safe to say less than 10% of the individuals I attempted to contact were helpful.  This resulted in a personal promise to always lend an intrigued ear if not a helping hand.  Because each single response was well worth a 100 ignored emails, phone calls or tweets.  The knowledge, inspiring encouragement or even the exposure from those who were once in my position was all I needed.

Recently, a writer named Allison Morris contacted me asking if I would take a look at some of her work.  More specifically, the infographic you see below, that takes you on a ride through Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's. life;

  (onlinecollegecourses.com)


I appreciated Allison's work and understood the time and patience necessary to bring it to life.

We can't be afraid to expose ourselves to possible rejection and it is important to be brave enough to help others.  If there is one thing we should all take from Dr. King's legacy, it is his fearless willingness to pursue what he wholeheartedly believed in while helping others along the way.  History tells us those footprints lead to something truly special.

Thanks for sharing Allison!

Be sure to check out more great pieces by Allison and other staff writers at: http://www.onlinecollegecourses.com

Cabin Fever

The only way to tolerate these cold winter months is to take full advantage of them.  Avoiding that first dreadful step, when the bottom of your foot regretfully embraces the brisk wooden floor as you awake, will only prolong this miserable season.  By going somewhere as adults, in which snow is encouraged and "staying in" sounds enticing, we are reminded why we loved winter so much as children.  Some place where internet doesn't exist and the townies are so townie that you can't decide if you are actually in a horror movie or a comedy.

Over the past weekend, a group of friends and I ditched the city for some much needed time in the middle of nowhere.  I'll be the first to admit that I often get caught up in the rat race that we call daily life.  This may be why I looked forward to this trip more than Christmas and New Years.  From the moment I booked the trip, I was excited for the excuse to leave my phone on a night stand, my laptop on my desk, and my full attention on some of the most interesting individuals in my life.

What was originally intended as a relaxing mini-weekend getaway, quickly turned into the set of Hot Tub Time Machine, minus John Cusack.  Unlike most posts in which I am more than willing to share events that occur in my life, I am going to have to keep most of these as personal memories. Although nothing out of the ordinary (at least for my group of friends) transpired, it is unbelievable to know some things will never change.

After a few snow balls,  some hot bourbon, endless amounts of Mimosas and Bloody Mary's, one early Saturday morning game of Scrabble (while watching an entire VH1 Top 20 Countdown), a misguided lodge, peanut butter, interesting choke holds, a hell of a lot of "oh lay, oh lay, oh lay's" and "whoa, oh, oh, oh oh ohhhhh's", and your occasional land mine later, none of us wanted to return to the real world.

As much as we all want to succeed, whether it be through our careers, our family or our friends, we all expressed the admiration for the weekend.  A weekend of simplicity.  A weekend of spending a few snow days with some of our closest friends.  The same weekend in which our toughest decision was when to switch from liquor to beer.

In order to strive for greatness, we must be reminded by the pure moments of great.  The moments when you can look around the kitchen table in a cabin and feel blessed to have the opportunity to surround yourself with such amazing people.  Certain accomplishments don't feel as special when they aren't followed by a toast with loved ones.

I'm blessed to admit my confidence in the fact that I will continue to raise a glass… to celebrate my own accomplishments as well as those who I have surrounded myself with.

Cheers, to one hell of an upcoming year!

2013, The Shorter Version of 2012.

Saturday may have marked the one year anniversary of TheBarrPursuit.com, but the Barr pursuit has been an ongoing grind for quite some time.  

I ended 2011 by making myself a promise, a promise I believe I kept.  After reading my very first post from last year (Welcome 2011, I've Been Waiting For You…), I am reassured that for the most part, I remained true to myself.

"Instead of making my New Year's Resolution something basic, I intend to do something productive.  I want to maximize my self-worth by setting higher personal expectations by introducing new pressure.  No better way to measure my success than creating a blog accessible to the world.  I have some new ventures and exciting projects in the works that will be revealed throughout 2012.  I want to share these projects with you as they evolve.  If I fail… you will witness my failure along the way.  If I succeed… we will celebrate together." 

2012 was dedicated to individual gain. After a generous 2011, I decided to make decisions and sacrifices that were ultimately in my favor.  I wanted to put myself in situations potentially resulting in highly prosperous consequences.  Whether monetary or not, I intended to take steps forward.  It is safe to say, 2012 was a very selfish year. A selfish, yet productive year.

It is truly amazing how much a person can grow and how far they can reach in just 365 days.  Many changes, many new faces and many opportunities that come at the cost of past relationships.  It is tough to say whether or not this change is positive, negative, or simply necessary.  All I know is that it constantly happens to all of us.  The faces in our inner circles change, our outlooks on life continue to evolve, and our wants and needs always come into perspective only when we are reminded how precious life is.

With the new year only hours away, we tend to scramble for New Year's resolutions as we eagerly say goodbye to the past year.  More than likely, you will be excited to start over as you are quick to discredit 2012 for what it truly was.  Another chapter in your life filled with valuable experiences and treasured memories.

Did you accomplish what you set out for on this day a year ago? Maybe, maybe not.  But what makes life so special is the opportunity to do so in 2013.  Chances are, the experience you gained will put you in a better position to achieve such during this upcoming year.  Again, the results of 2013 rest in your hands, much like they did in 2012.

Make New Year's resolutions.  Write down a few goals you intend to accomplish during the new year. Constantly remind yourself of these goals throughout your pursuit.  Hold yourself accountable and avoid excuses as they will only lead you to anxiously anticipating 2014 by throwing slander at 2013.  

Potholes and speed bumps will always arise En route to your dreams.  It is not the height of the speed bumps or the depth of the potholes, it is how you maneuver around them that truly defines your journey.  We all face them and it is easy to see who allowed these challenges to take them off their path. 

For myself, I will spend the majority of 2013 managing and balancing selfishness with generosity.  It is important to have both qualities, only if you know when to use each properly.

It has been a pleasure to share some of my experiences with you throughout the year.  Throwing myself out there for you to read has been a constant reminder of my own personal progress… now it's time to turn the page and embrace 2013.

Thank you for the past year and I truly hope you all accomplish everything you set out for during this upcoming year.  Have fun, be safe and always stay true to who you are! The rest will work itself out.