When I say alone, I seriously mean alone. Turn off the TV, close your lap top and pull out your ear buds. Silence has become a scary thing. Especially when you are alone. It forces you to actually think rather than react. React to all the different distractions. Solitude can be rewarding but it also has the potential to make you go crazy. It simply depends on how you treat it. Whether you embrace or reject it.
I am known for needing my "me" time. As much as I love all eyes on me, I also demand moments to myself. This weekend has given me just that. Both of my roommates went out of town. Usually I get the urge to jump in joy and walk around the house butt ass naked as soon as they shut the door. This weekend was a little different. I mean I still left the clothes in the bedroom but I caught myself rejecting the thought of being alone.
Early in the week I dedicated this weekend to completely finishing my book. That meant reading/editing 89 pages worth of single-spaced material. I've reread every word more than 100 times. It's to the point I could tell it as a bedtime story. Because of my familiarity with the words, I found myself mesmerized at the thought of ending this project. I had time to reflect on the time I spent not only living the stories, but writing them as well. Reflection that I rarely ever experience because I am too focused on the end result rather than the process.
In an attempt to clear my mind and prepare myself for my next project, I decided to catch a movie. By myself. After spending a solid 20 minutes watching movie trailers to determine which movie to see, I landed on Friends With Kids. The movie started at 7 and I arrived at the theatre around 7:07. With the 30 minutes of previews I thought I would be fine. Not so much. I walked into the movie and it was packed. Not only did I feel awkward walking all the way up to the top as I tried to find a seat that wasn't right next to someone, but I also lost my footing as I made my way back down. When I go to the movies with someone else or a group of people, it's annoying when you someone sits right next to you. Especially when there are 49 other seats available. So I decided to give all these couples their space and sit in the second row.
I didn't realize how close the second row was. I seriously had to move my head left to right just to see the entire screen. Minutes later, a posse of 5 women came walking in and were forced to enjoy the luxury of the second row as well. They were a little more upset than I was. Their reactions made me feel better about the situation. This was until these 30 year old's on a double date walk in and ask me if I could scoot down so they can all sit together. What do you know, perfect math, I now found myself squeezed between a group of 20 something year old women and 2 couples who were drinking.
I guess in the end it was for the best. The one weekend I had completely to myself, I wasn't really excited about it. Instead of sitting through a movie by myself in a dark corner, I sat next to two women who had the same sense of humor as myself. I'm usually that one guy at the movie theatre that laughs at the smallest/unexpected joke. That wasn't the case last night. These 2 complete strangers made sure I wasn't alone. It's weird how the world works. I don't think I needed some solitude this weekend. Just goes to show some things in life shouldn't be forced.