Nobody's Perfect

Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect. However, it's not okay if you don't strive for perfection.

Nobody's perfect. But to use this as an excuse to cut corners in order to make life easier is embarrassing.  We all make mistakes. We are all quick to judge but slow to take full responsibility of our actions.  The realization that perfection is rare should occur only after a failed attempt.  If not, we never had a chance in the first place.

In all aspects of life we have the tendency to measure value by its immediate affect on our lives as individuals.  I am no longer reluctant to personally admit this.  Growing up, my parents always preached the power of giving and to keep others in my thoughts.  As I continued to age, I continued to see this way of life changing.  From the small instances to the larger.  From cutting in line during lunch to taking advantage of someones kindness.  By college selfishness was a perfected trait of 98.36% of my peers.

Is the explanation; Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect?   Kiss my ass.  This is a simple excuse used by simple people who continue to use it because they have gotten away with it for too long.  From the moment we first open our eyes, we understand a "fuck up" when it happens.  It's an instinct.  It's a gut feeling we get when we do it.  It's called our guilty conscious.  And none of us have a great relationship with it.  We want to avoid any contact with our guilty conscious because it is the only thing that can make us feel terrible about certain decisions.

Understanding our "fuck ups" is merely half the battle.  Actually doing something about it is the other. Whether that be learning from it or fixing the problem.  Be proactive.  Don't use the simple excuse; "Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect".  Try your best to be perfect.  You will mess up.  You will fail.  But to understand the reasons why perfection wasn't the end result, that is where you become a better person.  That is what will take you further the next time.

Excuses for failure or our "fuck ups" are equivalent to taking two steps back.  Yeah, you may no longer face the same trials and tribulations but you are no closer to your ultimate goal.  Whether that be being the perfect spouse, parent, friend, employee, or child.  Perfection is in the eye of the beholder.  The only thing keeping you from it is yourself.  Strive for it.  Don't use excuses for your actions and avoid the temptations to give up.

Your guilty conscious will keep you honest with yourself.

I am not down with the sickness

Catching a cold or being sick is not what is used to be.  When we were little, a sore throat meant a day off from school with mom.  If you were anything like me, it also meant hours of gaming, movies and ice cream.  I used to jump in joy every morning I woke up with a cough.  And when you would return to school the next day, a note from your crush was usually waiting for you.  Your kick ball team would tell you how much you were missed during yesterdays game, and you could ask the cutie sitting next to you what schoolwork you missed.  The benefits were endless.

At 24 (yes, I am now 24), being sick just pisses me off! It reminds me that I am not Superman.  It forces me to slow down my day and makes me realize how many small details I take for granted on a regular basis.  Smiling hurts, focusing seems impossible and it is the only time I won't eat everything on my plate.  Production is minimal although the level of importance for your "schoolwork" is at an all time high.  Our production is now responsible for the food on the table and the roof over our heads.  Achieving our goals now rest in the hands of our production.  Being sick slows production down which can keep us from our dreams.

Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat.  So as you can imagine, I have been in a terrible mood.  And because of this sickness, I am cutting this blog post short.  I'm going to try and make some soup like mom used to make and watch a movie.

I don't always get sick, but when I do... I hate it.

Birthdays

When we are young, our birthday is like 4th of July, Christmas, and the last day of school all wrapped into a ice cream cake of your favorite animated character.  We are guaranteed one day out of the year to have more friends than the day before.  Parents feel obligated and responsible to make you feel like the only nugget in the world.  They will make endless sacrifices to throw you a party and to make sure you have a full choir singing while you blow out your candles.  Even if you bully little Jimmy every single day during recess, he will be there.  Before you know it, both friends and enemies are gathered around you in birthday hats resembling little Glee rejects as they sing the ever so famous song, "Happy Birthday".

As each year passes, we look forward to the next birthday more and more.  We continue to hit important milestones; 10 (double digits), 13 (officially a teenager), 15 (you are now too cool for your parents),  16 (driver's license), 18 (smoking, porn, sex, some think you can drink), 20 (no longer a teenager), 21 (finally, you can buy your own alcohol... all older siblings look forward to this birthday more than you do)... At least these are the things my peers looked forward to.  Today, I think kids truly believe their 13th birthday means they can have sex, drink, smoke, and do drugs (Thank you Teen Mom for being such a great influence).

It's the craziest thing, but at some time during that drunken slumber that is your 21st birthday, the excitement for next year loses it's magic.  "What now?" settles in as you begin to reflect on the past 21 years of your life.  This is probably when I personally questioned if I was where I wanted to be.  Waking up in my bed (no bed frame so that shit was really on the floor) in Athens, Ohio with markings from every bar on my hands.  I was ok with that! And if you've ever spent some time in Athens, you would be too.

In a few days I will be turning 24.  Not really a sexy birthday.  Just one year closer to the dreaded 30 (until I am turning 34, then 40 will become the new most dreadful).  I think birthdays tend to lose their magic because as we age, we begin to question past decisions we have made.  Would we rather be living a different life?  When little Jimmy was whispering Happy Birthday when your cake only had 10 candles, is this how you pictured your life to turn out?  In most cases it is not.

When we are young, our milestones for each birthday surround aspects of life we are not legally permitted to do because of our age.  We have certain life restrictions.  The older we get, these restrictions disappear.  So our personal goals and aspirations are readily available for us to reach.  The room for excuses as to why you are not living the life you want and pursuing your passion is minimal.  I guess the older we get, the blame solely rests on our shoulders.  This scares us.

I have never been overly excited to celebrate my birthday.  To me it has always been just another day that happens to end with a fork full of birthday cake.  I understood that increasing my current age by 1 would not change the person I am or the mountains I can reach.  It is a reason to be thankful for the blessings I have had in the past and to be anxious for what is to come.  I don't need candles.  I don't need a clown.  I don't even need you to sing me Happy Birthday.  I just hope to continue to become a better person this upcoming year.

24 will be a hell of a ride and I'm proud to say I will be driving.  I welcome both friends and enemies to join me.  You are my motivation!

And thanks to songs such as "Birthday Sex" and Rihanna's "Birthday Cake", birthdays are making a comeback for us elderly!

Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake...

Happy Mother's Day

This Bieber guy is really raising the bar and making it more difficult for every son to show their appreciation on Mother's Day.

I never thought I'd search for a Justin Bieber song on YouTube, let alone advise you guys to do so as well. But the older I (we) get, the more we realize how much our parents have sacrificed.  

So on Mother's Day, I hope all the Mom's out there are reminded how important they are.  There isn't enough we can do to show our appreciation.  I'm going to go ahead and let Bieber speak for me because I can't sign, sorry mom.  Should have paid for singing lessons! (just kidding, kind of) 

But on a serious note, yes mom, even though I am about to turn 24, you are still the person I turn to.  

Happy Mother's Day! 

Remember Brian?

If you have been with me since the beginning of the blog, you should remember Brian,  the autistic 16 year old my mom takes care of.  No clue what I'm talking about? Read this to catch up: http://www.thebarrpursuit.com/2012/01/family.html 

Although it has been over 4 months since my visit,  my mom is still spending countless hours working with these kids.  Roughly 10 hours nearly every day in a house that I couldn't last 20 minutes.  In those few minutes I could manage, I learned more about life than in any classroom at OU.  I didn't learn how to solve logarithms or how to forecast economic growth, but how different every individual is.  That I have been blessed with my health and fortunate to mistake small mishaps in my life as "challenges".

What I call challenges would be considered something different by nearly every other person in the world.  They could be something more drastic, or something minuscule.  In Brain's eyes, my challenges would be called blessings.  For every time I am frustrated with traffic, he would be smiling at the chance to get behind the wheel.  Sometimes we all need to be reminded of our fortunes rather than focusing so much on our misfortunes.

On Tuesday I went home to spend some time with my parents and to celebrate my mom's birthday.  Although my parents are entertaining and insightful, I didn't expect to return to Columbus with a new blog topic.  But like I have said a million times before, the world is always teaching you something.  You just have to pay attention to realize it.  Out of nowhere my mom gave me this picture that Brian had drawn for me.

My mom explained he has picked up a new hobby (drawing) and she told him to draw something for me because my birthday is coming up.  Without hesitation he began to draw a lion.

It amazes me how he can grasp onto certain details that my mom tells him about me.  She has told him that I am a Detroit Lion's fan and that I have a tattoo of a lion on my shoulder.  To associate me with a few details she has mentioned in the past blows my mind.  I don't think people who have full brain capacity would reach so deep and pay attention to such detail if they were told to draw a picture for me.  If I was told to draw a picture for someone I would probably just draw that person.

This is because we seldom slow down for anyone.  We are always on the go and anticipating our next move that we never take a minute to truly listen to others.  With so much on our individual plate, we feel we don't have room to add to it.  Especially if it doesn't involve us personally.  I know I get caught up in my own personal life that I seem to have little time to pay attention to others.  I don't know if we are simply more selfish now because we feel we have to be in order to survive or what.

But if there is one thing I do know, I will be sure to draw Brian a Transformer for his birthday.

Graduation

With summer comes new chapters in the lives of many.  High school seniors are saying goodbye to those they have shared hall ways with for years.  College graduates are preparing themselves for the 'real world'. And parents return home from work to an empty nest.  No matter which one you ask, they will all proclaim it's the most challenging and drastic change one is forced to overcome.  Excitement and uncertainty of what is to come constantly remind you that time doesn't slow down for anyone.

The first wave of graduation commencements took place over the weekend.  Graduation is an important time for all of us.  It is the annual changing of the guard between teacher and student. I'd like to congratulate those who received their degrees while also lending all of you a piece of mind (from my book, Young and Hungry; A College Degree is Expensive Cooking Spray).

"If you are fresh out of high school, embrace the next few years of your life…

     Whether you decide to spend the next four years in a classroom or take your first step on the corporate ladder, do it with confidence.  Appreciate the journey you have begun, as you will find yourself with tunnel vision and you will lose focus of the big picture.  Remember who you are when you arrive and embrace the person you will be when you depart.  There will be life lessons on either path, but it is what you learn from them that will truly make the difference. 

     You are now free to make your own decisions, but understand those decisions come with consequences.  You will be hurt and you will hurt others, but remember forgiveness is never a better quality than loyalty.  You will be tested by many and embraced by few.  It is now your responsibility to truly find what you want out of life.  Whether it is a career, friendship, companionship, a family, or a lifetime filled with memories, understand what makes you happy and go for it.  Hear the voices of others but listen to your own.  The world is yours as you have been handed a notebook to begin writing your own story.  You will run out of ink but not pages.  Understand your self-worth even though you will constantly be forced to remind others.  

If you are fresh out of college, pick up that microphone…

     Whether you are certain you made the right decision four years ago or not, it is your turn to shine. 

You now have the tools to live the life you once dreamt of.  Don’t allow the pressure of the real world to blur your vision of the picture you have painted.  Decisions must be made to put food on the table and a roof over your head, but don’t forget the food you desire most or the square footage of your dream home.  Society expects you to make a safe decision and to be fortunate for the opportunity to have a job.  Again, you have a choice to make.  You can kindly shake the man’s hand and work your way up the corporate ladder or you can say no thanks and do things your way. 

     Either way, be proud of your decision and work with confidence.  Never regret a decision because you can always make another.  Read the story you wrote throughout college to remember exactly what your heart desires.  As we continue to age, we tend to make more decisions with our brain than our heart.  If you don’t love what you do, you are doing it for the wrong reasons. 

     People have come and gone but you will always remember and understand their influences in your life.  Don’t let their recent absence replace their past presence.  Stay humble and let others talk about the great things you are achieving. If you are doing better than the person next to you, there is always something you can do to help their situation.  Karma is a mother and you will never know when the roles will be reversed.  Remember the big picture and understand there is more to give in this world than there is to receive.  Bust your ass to be admired not to be envied.  It takes longer to reach the top than it does to hit rock bottom. 

If you are older than Generation Y…

     Try to understand that in a matter of time we will be this country's new leaders.  Help us along the way.  Encourage us to reach out full potential without judging our character and morals.  If not, we will simply bust our ass even more to put ourselves in the best position to succeed.  By no means do we need your approval, but it sure would be nice."


Congrats to all and I hope everyone who attends a graduation ceremony enjoys themselves.  It is a special moment.  Graduates, I hope you do your part to spread the word and share these words with your peers! Be excited for the next chapter in life! 

Happy Month of May

"I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of MAY!" - The Temptations knew what they were talking about.

I usually don't post back-to-back days but I woke up this morning and couldn't shake my dumb looking smile.  It's May 1st! Which means the best month of the year is finally upon us.  Besides all the May baby birthdays (including my lovely mother), May has a lot of baggage;  Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Cinco de Mayo, Towel Day (thanks Wikipedia), The Kentucky Derby, The Indianapolis 500 (don't know if that is really worth bragging about), NBA Playoffs, the list really does go on.  If you happen to see me during these next 31 days and i'm not smiling like I just lost my virginity, again, I give you permission to punch me in the neck.

I just wanted to take a second to bring more awareness to this month and to give birthday shout outs to everyone.  I look forward to actually celebrating them with a few of you!

But on a more serious note, May is also National Brain Tumor Awareness Month.  To educate yourself go here: http://www.braintumor.org/


May is like the foreplay before Summer.  So if you don't appreciate the month of May, then F you!